Someone on my travels once asked me, “I teach 7 year old children in school. What do you think the three most important things are that I could teach them?”
I said, “Forgive everyone everything, including yourself. Love every living thing, in other words, respect and accept their existence and right to Be as much as your own. And think only positive thoughts because your words and actions will follow.”
Depending on the tones of voice your parents used with you, will greatly affect the tapes you have playing in your head. If your mother continually yelled at you, chances are you will yell at your own children, and not really even be aware of it. If your father always spoke down to you, it’s likely you will do the same to your children. Or, you may go completely the other way if you are self aware and determined not to screw your kids up the way your parents did to you. But generally, at some level, we pass on the same modelling to our children because it is ingrained in us. If we learned how to shut our feelings up inside of us and not communicate, how can we expect our children to communicate with us? It is important to get to your kids in their formative years if at all possible, I am lucky, I got to mine about half way through, but I still see personality traits in them that they picked up from me when I was angry. If your children are already grown, it is better to sort your stuff out now anyway because the present moment for healing and apologising is better than never. If you don’t have children to pass all of this good stuff down to, then for your own sake, clear up your own internal struggles, forgive your parents and embrace happiness.
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